Today I got "live action". Let me try and some up the day. I got up this morning with the hubby... my son was close behind us. We fed him, he played. He busted his lip on one of his toys. He fussed and cried. His gums bled, his lip got swollen. He healed. Later on, after my workout, I took my shower. I come out of the shower to hearing my son and husband making weird noises in the living room. I heard my husband faintly call out to me. He was afraid. I ran naked into the hallway to find that the sounds I heard were the sounds of my son choking to death. My husband was trying to do a maneuver on him to make him spit up what he was choking on. It didn't work. I ran up to them and just did what my instincts told me to do: i stuck my finger into his mouth and down his throat. I went in there to get whatever it was out. I ended up gagging him and it made him throw it up. I was shaking. I cried. I was PISSED OFF!!! He healed. Me= still pissed. I didn't want to talk to another person. Ever.
My husband was frazzled for the rest of the day. His blood pressure apparently skyrocketed because he ended up with terrible headache. I was worried about that. Unable to think clearly he just became a zombie throughout the rest of the day. I'm already irritated by all that happened today so I'm not sensitive to his plight. Just as we are halfway through dinner, Jo wakes up screaming and crying. We wait it out, hoping he'll just fall asleep again. Didn't happen. My hubby can't take it anymore- he goes to get our son. Jo's eyes are huge, red and puffy. It makes me soooo sad to look at his precious little face like that. I want to cry..........again. We feed him a small bottle, play a little bit. He gets sleepy again and we lay him down. Cries a little but goes to sleep. Hubby is so done with this day he can barely deal with any of it. I feel exhausted, we can barely look at each other from sheer exhaustion. He ends up taking some Tylenol PM and heads to bed.
Now........Here I sit. Typing away, staring at everything that Jesus has put before me today to see. The scripture that is blaring in my mind is this: [Eph. 6:12]-This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control evil in the heavenly world.
Today in The Valley, I witnessed a spiritual puppet show. I saw my family being used spitefully to make me distraught. I mean lets just call it what it is.... these bastards used my husband and my son to illicit dangerous emotions and fears in me. They threatened my son's life to make me afraid. They threatened my husband's sanity and health by causing him to be frustrated and feel totally out of control today. It caused me to fear losing him too. I'm exposing this for two reasons: 1) The things you hide in the dark, whether it be for shame or for safe keepings, will eventually come to light. 2) There is no consequence of me revealing this! My family is covered by the Blood of Jesus and I refuse to allow the enemy to try and put me in bondage of fear!!! This.............is my battle!
So sad, dear Puppeteer.... you have been revealed again. Thank you Jesus for walking with me on this Journey! Deal with me in the places of my fear, O' God! Heal my emotions, Lord. Remove the fear I have of losing my husband and my son... they mean the world to me. Although, this fear isn't uncommon, the God I serve IS an uncommon God! There is no one like you Jesus! Therefore I know that even something as scary and tormenting as dealing with the fear of losing your loved ones, can still be conquered. Heal me God. I don't want to be bound anymore.
The spirit behind them wanted to bind me in fear. It was a threat. The threat was this, "Michelle, if you continue on this path, I'll hurt the ones you love most". My response, "No you won't. Bottom line, no matter what happens... I'm coming for my damn peace of mind and if you have it, you better act like you don't because I'm coming straight for it." My God protects me always... read this: [Psalm 27:1]- [By David.] The LORD is my light and my salvation. Who is there to fear? The LORD is my life's fortress. Who is there to be afraid of?
I will be using this scripture whenever I feel afraid of anything. He is the Author and He is the Finisher, I need to trust that He knows what's He's doing and also that my Jesus is the stronghold of my life and is a fierce protector of what belongs to Him--->> Me + My family + You= Whom shall I fear?
Pray my strength, friends............................. In The Valley.
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