Call me Noah...TVB

So, it's been a few days.  Not on purpose though...I actually wrote a blog day before yesterday and it got erased.  I'm still outrageously pissed about that too!  Some updates here in the Valley-  Got someone saved while I was here= Proof that no matter where you are in your walk, God's work can still be done!  But I digress...

So, I'm walking through the Valley with Jesus... and it pisses me off that most of the time, i never know the lessons as i'm looking at them... it's not until after the fact.

Annoyed.

I looked around and realized that it was all falling to pieces... I was being attacked in every direction!  There was so much going on around me, I didn't even know where to start!  It was up to my chest until i realized what all was happening: I was in a flood.  Here's the technique: Flooding- To cover or submerge with; To completely overwhelm with something.

This technique is one of the enemy's best!  It's when they "Make it rain" on your pretty lil head!  They dump so much crap on you that  you literally can't understand what to do or how to stop it!  It's easy when the day consists of one or two major attacks on the battlefield... but when it's 8 or 9... and sometimes more- you think that there's no way you can fight it.  I mean what part of the sword could you even use for a million different situations that happen all at once?!?! 

Welp folks... during this series of major attacks all at once, a sistah like me went straight Noah on the enemy and built an ARK!!!  The word says this: Isa. 59:19- When the enemy comes like a raging flood tide, the Spirit of the Lord will drive him back. I'm so thankful for our Lord.... He literally says here that when the enemy tries to drown you in fears, poverty, depression, lack, bitterness and confusion... He will DRIVE the enemy back off of you!

He rescues us friends.  He's our Savior!  I love my God so!  What we can't do for ourselves He will do!  The most important part of this lesson for me was the understanding of my own weakness.  My weakness and total dependence upon the Lord is truly my strength!  The Sword says this- 2 Cor. 12:9- But he told me: "My kindness is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak." So I will brag even more about my weaknesses in order that Christ's power will live in me.  Yesss.... I'm so weak!  I need Him to rescue me!  When the enemy tries to drown my in my fears and short-comings and I turn to God, who IS my help, only then will victory be mine!  I couldn't stop or even see all the attacks coming my way... but God could and I sought Him for my help.  Victory.

I once again used my Sword to slice off the hands of the enemy!  As you exit this blog, try not to slip on the blood of the enemy... he's lost again! 

Pray my strength friends......................................In The Valley.

Pulling Strings...TVB

The Puppeteer...TVB

I was aware yesterday, thanks to my Jesus.  He told me not to be lulled into a false sense of security.  I knew enough to enjoy the peace of the day, but arm myself with the truth [My Truth. My Sword= His Word].  The truth was, "I'm still on The Valley's Battlefield".  I'm so thankful to be able to hear Him and I know that He won't leave me through this process because it is absolutely necessary for me, and for the others behind me, to PAY ATTENTION!

Today I got "live action".  Let me try and some up the day.  I got up this morning with the hubby... my son was close behind us.  We fed him, he played.  He busted his lip on one of his toys.  He fussed and cried.  His gums bled, his lip got swollen.  He healed.  Later on, after my workout, I took my shower.  I come out of the shower to hearing my son and husband making weird noises in the living room.  I heard my husband faintly call out to me.  He was afraid.  I ran naked into the hallway to find that the sounds I heard were the sounds of my son choking to death.  My husband was trying to do a maneuver on him to make him spit up what he was choking on.  It didn't work.  I ran up to them and just did what my instincts told me to do: i stuck my finger into his mouth and down his throat.  I went in there to get whatever it was out.  I ended up gagging him and it made him throw it up.  I was shaking.  I cried.  I was PISSED OFF!!!  He healed. Me= still pissed.  I didn't want to talk to another person. Ever.

My husband was frazzled for the rest of the day.  His blood pressure apparently skyrocketed because he ended up with terrible headache.  I was worried about that.  Unable to think clearly he just became a zombie throughout the rest of the day.  I'm already irritated by all that happened today so I'm not sensitive to his plight.  Just as we are halfway through dinner, Jo wakes up screaming and crying.  We wait it out, hoping he'll just fall asleep again.  Didn't happen.  My hubby can't take it anymore- he goes to get our son.  Jo's eyes are huge, red and puffy.  It makes me soooo sad to look at his precious little face like that.  I want to cry..........again.  We feed him a small bottle, play a little bit.  He gets sleepy again and we lay him down.  Cries a little but goes to sleep.  Hubby is so done with this day he can barely deal with any of it.  I feel exhausted, we can barely look at each other from sheer exhaustion.  He ends up taking some Tylenol PM and heads to bed. 

Now........Here I sit.  Typing away, staring at everything that Jesus has put before me today to see.  The scripture that is blaring in my mind is this: [Eph. 6:12]-This is not a wrestling match against a human opponent. We are wrestling with rulers, authorities, the powers who govern this world of darkness, and spiritual forces that control evil in the heavenly world. 

Today in The Valley, I witnessed a spiritual puppet show.  I saw my family being used spitefully to make me distraught.  I mean lets just call it what it is.... these bastards used my husband and my son to illicit dangerous emotions and fears in me.  They threatened my son's life to make me afraid.  They threatened my husband's sanity and health by causing him to be frustrated and feel totally out of control today.  It caused me to fear losing him too.  I'm exposing this for two reasons: 1) The things you hide in the dark, whether it be for shame or for safe keepings, will eventually come to light. 2) There is no consequence of me revealing this!  My family is covered by the Blood of Jesus and I refuse to allow the enemy to try and put me in bondage of fear!!! This.............is my battle! 

So sad, dear Puppeteer.... you have been revealed again.  Thank you Jesus for walking with me on this Journey!  Deal with me in the places of my fear, O' God!  Heal my emotions, Lord.  Remove the fear I have of losing my husband and my son... they mean the world to me.  Although, this fear isn't uncommon, the God I serve IS an uncommon God!  There is no one like you Jesus!  Therefore I know that even something as scary and tormenting as dealing with the fear of losing your loved ones, can still be conquered.  Heal me God.  I don't want to be bound anymore.

The spirit behind them wanted to bind me in fear.  It was a threat.  The threat was this, "Michelle, if you continue on this path, I'll hurt the ones you love most".  My response, "No you won't.  Bottom line, no matter what happens... I'm coming for my damn peace of mind and if you have it, you better act like you don't because I'm coming straight for it."  My God protects me always... read this: [Psalm 27:1]- [By David.] The LORD is my light and my salvation. Who is there to fear? The LORD is my life's fortress. Who is there to be afraid of?


I will be using this scripture whenever I feel afraid of anything.  He is the Author and He is the Finisher, I need to trust that He knows what's He's doing and also that my Jesus is the stronghold of my life and is a fierce protector of what belongs to Him--->> Me + My family + You=   Whom shall I fear?


Pray my strength, friends............................. In The Valley.

The Deception-TVB

The Deception....

Today is gravy.  It feels as if nothing in the world is wrong.  I mean, I could just go and float my lil self on a cloud and totally believe that I'm allllllll good!  Papa is home with me having a great time with just me and baby boy.  It feels great outside annnnnnd, I had me some coffee so you KNOW I'm happy!  Coffee makes me feel like the world is a PEACH! 

How-some-ever!  It's not!  If i put my guard down now i will, indeed, be clobbered.  Nothing is all good.......yet!  I know that the enemy is trying to lull me into a false sense of security.  I have not yet been delivered.  That battle is still on.  The enemy is absolutely in hiding waiting for me to be naked and unaware so he can attack. That's why until I know, I will remain on guard.  The Lord says in Matthew 10:16- I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

I'm through with the thought that every quiet moment is meant to lay down my sword and pretend i'm not battling.  When you're in a battle, even when there's no live fire, the enemy is still plotting the next attack.  Be a step or two ahead at all times.  I am, afterall, still in the Valley.  I'm on a mission to get back my stuff! 

Sometimes I will be the one to attack!  If i'm going to get my stuff that means, "I won't bust-back, because I'm shootin' first"!  Don't be deceived.  The enemy will lay low to make you think it's all in your head.  Take it from me: You are still in the Valley.  You are still fighting.  You are still looking for your stuff.  It's not over until He says so!  Appreciate the peace, but always be ready to use your sword if need be.  Start your day with the Sword, end your day with Sword.  Lets. Go.

Shrewd as a snake, gentle as doves.  Pray my strength............. In the Valley.

The "Fall Out"... TVB

The Fall Out...

What happens in the Valley... whomever you meet in the Valley, must- stay- in- the- valley. 

Now that I have my sword in my hand ready to swing, the Lord brought my eyes to see all the "Valley Dwellers" around me.  These are people who like the darkness.  They have actually made the Valley their home.  People who love nothing more than to have an excuse to be here.... in The Valley. Doesn't that sound ridiculous to you?  It made perfect sense to me.  I was one of them.

I, too, was a Valley Dweller.  I was somebody that, if you sat with me long enough, you could find out every horrible thing that has ever happened to me.  I would even use it under the guise of being my "testimony".  Yeah, sometimes it's necessary to tell somebody where you've been so they know they can make it.  However, a Valley Dweller, doesn't wait for such occasions.  Any willing listener could get an earful of all the woeful things dealt me.  So now that I've picked up my vagabond sack and decided it's time to move out of Hades, I must now "Fall Out" of fellowship with other Valley Dwellers.  Sure, sometimes it may get lonely...but I know that Jesus will make His presence known to me while I'm here.  He will fill up the lonely places, that no man could ever fill anyway.  This is not a party... this is a battle, which means there will be struggle.

You Valley Dwellers are no longer a part of me.  We are no longer friends.  When you send me a super long text about stuff you KNOW ain't right... extra long emails about how horrible your lives are... weepy phone calls about how satan is "busy" in your lives and every ailment in the book is happening to you right now... expect me to screen your calls and never respond to your texts.  I will not be dragged into another person's drama for a long time after this because I have to protect my newly found mindset.  There are probably those who will test me to see if it's them I'm talking about-- I truly don't care!  I'm coming out of this joint and I will be unscathed!  This is a battle and battles are bloody, ruthless and nasty!  Surely there will be casualties.

So as I walk through this place with my sword in hand kicking away Valley Dwellers and their drama, I'm totally validated by 2 Cor. 6:14-Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?

I know that seeking His light and His righteousness is the right thing to do.  Falling out of fellowship with ANYTHING dark has always been the plan for us.  Are we not escaping this dark place to reach the light???  So how can I still be "boys" with the darkness surrounding me? Can't happen.  I'm in hot pursuit of light!!    The bible describes this as being unequally yoked.  Being unequally yoked is putting two things together that just can't fit.  Think of a square peg trying to fit in a round hole, or more fittingly, a pessimist trying to be friends with an optimist.  These two inherently have opposite views, are going in opposite directions and for real need to just leave each other alone. The truth is, being around Valley Dwellers will only wrap a leash around my leg and tether it the ground.  If I'm gonna be in pursuit of the light and moving steadily towards my mark, that means your crap is going to have to stay in your own toilet. 

They're everywhere!  So I will definitely be on the lookout for people who love to hate joy and are enamored with their own misery... because remember...i just fell out of agreement with my own!  This is a solitary journey, and just like being born, nobody can do this with me.

Continue to pray my strength................. In The Valley. 

TVB- Ch.1

The Valley Battle Ch. 1

Okay, I've currently done my initial work.  I've descended into the valley and gotten myself into position.  I made a solid decision that I will no longer be in agreement with depression, lack, poverty, bitterness and sickness.  That means when any of those situations come up against me--- I FIGHT!  Tonight, I'm getting every scripture I can find concerning those things and I will read them aloud whenever I see them rear their ugly heads! 

Why am I taking this approach first?  The Word of God is my sword.  The word says this: Hebrews 4:12- For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.


You know them demons?? Them fools you can't see but can feel?  You know them, right?! The ones who use people and situations to try and destroy you- for we wrestle NOT against flesh and blood!  You know who I'm talkin' about... because although you would love nothing more then to put on yo sneakers, wipe yo face down with vaseline, snatch off yo earrings and anything else loose that can be snatched off and take they aye double Yazzez in the street and whoop them BECAUSE THEY STOLE SOMETHIN'!!!!.... you can't.  They are spirit... you can't whoop spirit by mortal means! 


You must use The Sword.  You must BELIEVE the sword and its miraculous and SuperNatural Power!  Without faith, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God (hebrews 11:6).  If you don't believe His Word... what could you possibly be believing.  You can't chop and dice His word up like a tomato... nah, you gotta believe that whole thang... --yeah i said thang because it's that serious! 


So here i am... leaning my whole weight, laying down all my lil strength, letting the tears fall where and when they may and allowing myself to be open like the Heavens are to ANYONE that might believe.  I will win.  Everyday I will try to blog.  I will discuss each struggle as they come... which scripture I use to defeat them, each thing i do to confuse and confound the enemy........................ but first= I fall out of agreement with it all.


I will no longer just sit and take HIT after bloody HIT from the enemy!  Whenever I feel low... whenever I feel sad... whenever I'm sitting in lack.. whenever I can't afford something... whenever I'm pissed to the HIGHEST... whenever, wherever, whatever.... I will act instead of just sit there and allow.  Out of agreement.  Got my Sword. No need to sharpen it because it can NEVER become dull.  Now I'm ready to swing.  Let's. Go.


Pray my strength friends................. In The Valley.

The Valley...

I'm no fool.  I know that I've been led here so that I show another the way out.  I'm going to journal the whole way through to leave a trail.  Call me the Harriett Tubman of The Valley.  I've been enslaved, I've made my bed in Massah's house... I even tried to make it comfy, so as not to face the fact that........... i'm gonna have to fight for my freedom eventually.  Some days, slavery didn't feel so bad.  Other days, I couldn't fathom even putting one toe out of my bed.  For years.  I thought that if i just did this and a little of that... had that person with me or ate that thing, that it would eventually right itself.  It was my fault anyway.  Several things that came my way that i did to myself, made it hard to see the things that were totally out of my control.  It was just easier to blame me.

Fight or flight mode.  Live in a state of panic or fear long enough and you'll train your brain to either be anxious or depressed.  I've been ducking and dodging this part of my journey for a loooooooong time.  Now I'm here to stay and fight.  I'm going to go ahead and walk straight through this Valley and win.  Then leave my mile markers behind for all those who will come behind me, are still there by the time I come out and who were hiding in the same places I was so they wouldn't have to go through it.

Confrontation.  This is a fight for my Joy.  A fight for everything I've lost over the years due to lack, depression, no ambition or energy to seize what's mine.  I'm about to confront everything that stands in the way of the exit to this Valley. Every demon in hell... i want you to know... i'm coming out and I will win.  Jesus is walking through this with me.  He's holding my hand and He's showing me the way out.  If you try to hold on to my clothes, I'll burn you with fire, and you better not try and touch my body.  If you try to touch me your arms are gonna be broken in the name of Jesus!  I will call ALL of my protection, legions of God's Army to stand in my defense you even THINK you're gonna harm my family IN JESUS' NAME!!!  Now i need for you to see that this is a spiritual contract... it's not a threat... it's damn Law!!  I'm coming out of this alive and well, healed and whole.  Stand back and watch me!

Psalm 23:4-6

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil; For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD

Forever.

Severe Thunderstorm Warning in My Head

Sleep would be awesome right now.  Apparently that's not for me tonight.  I feel like there are a million things screaming for my attention during this time and I have no idea where to start.  Awakened by an "any hour of the day" habitual texter and the sound of my husband pissed off about it... God help my mouth.  People truly don't understand how much crap goes on in my day... so when I ask you to text me within certain hours of the day... dude that's exactly what I mean.  Our issues run deeper than tonight though.. she and I have had yeeeeaaarrrs of us getting on each other's last eva lovin' nerves.  The next time will be soooo ugly... and totally on purpose.  Now I don't know if I'll be able to sleep before the New day barges through my window proclaiming itself...

So here's me emptying out my brain so that nothing else lives in there but z's:

First off, just to let YEW know... the bigger person doesn't need to get the last word... so take that, jerk!!!

I'm a control freak.  I don't mean a lil bit= I mean to the point where people's civil liberties could be revoked if i could have it my way. true story. 

The battlefield is soooo in the mind.  I mean the more i layed there.. the more i could picture myself really doing some damage to somebody... body shots and all... but then the Lord quoted one of my current favorite scriptures, Proverbs 29:18- "Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he".... as soon as I heard that scripture pop intp my head... all the anger and frustration just went away and I could think clearly again.  I started to envision the life I want to have and how i want my household to be run.  It made me smile and it lifted me.. battle won.  However, now I can't sleep from thinking about all of these things that i want!

I think I'm going to sue my apartment complex.  Me and the baby had a really bad fall on Friday which landed us both in the E.R.  It was completely their fault.  Now I don't know what to do... on the one hand... I'm pissed and would totally be doing it to get back at them and MAKE them hold some responsibility for what happened to us!  On the other, my God says that vengeance is His... so I can't take that approach with this situation.  Maybe we'll tell them the situation and then let them decide how they'll compensate us.  Me and my fracture boot will be sitting in their office on Monday, thank you very much! ---spiritual council welcome on this situation---

I'm really buggin' about the future of my Organization.  There is so much that must be done in my community but there seems not to be enough people doing anything about it!  So me and my Sorors are literally SWAMPED with opportunities that people are hurling our way... i've never seen so many desperate people in my life.  We need more people to help us.  We need willing and able bodies to take some time out of their schedules to do something that will touch a life.  I'm praying that the Lord is about to pour His blessings all over us and this org because we need it.  If you know somebody willing to help... tell them to contact me at info@thetasigmalambda.org ... members and volunteers WANTED!!

Hmmmm... is there more?  Let's see.  Okay, so what i really want to do more than anything in this world right now is do laundry, mop my floors, vacuum the carpet, do some grocery shopping to make a BANGIN' meal and straighten up the rest of the house.  JESUS HELP ME!!! What is my DEAL???  It's 1:05 IN THE MERnTiNG!!! #foolishness <<-- omgsh... why did i just put a hashtag on my blog??? This ain't Twitter!!  I'm being brainwashed by this dang on Internet!  Prayer needed.   

Okay, the storm is subsiding... i think.  I feel better... guess i just had to let it all hang out for a minute.  Whoever takes the time to read this... you are dead wrong if you don't comment lolol... j/k <<---but am i??  hmmmm ...lolol no seriously though, i'm getting goofy which is a good sign!  It means that the sandman may have hit me in the face again... let's give sleep another try! 

G'night/MornTing Bloggerz :)