Self Portrait

If I decided to remove the "stimulus" from the situation, I'm only left with me and how I respond to the "stimulus".... so let me do that for a minute. I'm noticing a pattern. The pattern is me constantly being surrounded by people with unbelievable drama, anger and other issues that can be quite disruptive to my attempt at a positive existence. What do i usually do? I mimic the behavior and end up more miserable than the person causing the misery. Why?! Why am I not strong enough to just stay within my own lane of positivity? I'm really trying to understand yaw. It would require incredible mental strength of which i'm realizing I don't truly possess a lot of.

How do you make a conscious decision to be positive in the midst of a bunch of negativity all the time?? It's like jumping into a puddle of mud and declaring to the world that you will remain spotless. Again, removing the stimulus, what is it in me that can't maintain my own level of positivity and faith? I've always had really strong beliefs... or so I thought. I'm not sure i can say that anymore with how "moldable" I am when in the presence of other people's drama. It's nobodies fault but mine.

I chose this picture as a self portrait because she has no face. Clearly she's, female, black with natural hair...she is an individual but it reminded me of how we eliminate our own fingerprints and give away our own unique power when we allow other people and their drama dictate how we function, and what we believe. I'm giving away my power. My power as "Michelle" is being a strong black woman of faith that is relentless and unbreakable. I've been through too much to allow itty bitty negative things and [people] to creep inside of me and destroy my faith! I have a choice to make today...

Now that I know better, I can do better... I wonder what I'll choose. Stay tuned family!