The Sun in the Son= Venting!!!

It's sunny outstide. It's really beautiful. I find myself staring out my window wanting to go for a jog... yet I can't. I want to just go and sit in the park and let the warm air circle around my toes for hours at a time... can't do that either. I have to always be back at my home or near it every two hours. I either have to check my blood sugar, eat or give myself one of the 4 shots i'm supposed to give myself every single day. I feel like prisoner.. and I'm realizing that's the nature of the disease. I have never been more motivated to do a thing in all my life. I'm gonna kill the killer. Murder the murderer... I'm putting out a hit on the one responsible for so many 187's in my family. Diabetes. It only took one doctor to say, "It may very well have more to do with the pregnancy than anything, but type II diabetes is totally curable and reversible"... that's all he had to say. I know how I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it. It starts now.

This pregnancy has been both wonderful and horrible for me. I complain about it on a daily basis. I struggle to see the bright and fluffy side of pregnancy that some women see. It's truly a blessing for me, with all the drama and trauma it took for me to be pregnant at all... yet all day I dream about the moment when the pregnancy has come to the point of delivery. The sun is outside full force today... yet I'm seeking the Son inside today. It's funny, the Sun represents brillance and warmth and even better, endless possibilities. The Son on the other hand represents all that and a million more things like: Freedom, Wholeness, Healing, Joy... yeah... endless great possibilities. It explains how I can feel one when experiencing the other. I have more energy in my body when the Sun is out. And when the Son is "in" I feel warmth, brilliance and freedom within.

Pregnancy tends to change your whole personality. It narrows your vision, it's broadens your emotional response and it shrinks your personality as a whole... you've gone from being YOU with all that comes with you, to "you" and the baby and all that means for you. Where did I go? I'm putting and APB out on myself... i miss me. 4 more weeks and I'll hopefully be returning from wherever I've been.

I'm seeking the Sun in the Son today. Lord meet me in my place of need today... amen