So, it's Monday....No, this isn't what I do all day. Sometimes though, it doesn't seem any different. Sometimes you can get in a cycle of just... well.. NOTHINGNESS. I've always wanted my life to have a greater meaning than just an assembly line of same ol same ol. I miss working with my kids, but it's very clear that God needs to build me back up from this past season of learning. I learned a lot in this past season, mostly about how to love my enemies. It as draining and was one of the hardest lessons YET! It dragged me away from some things that I love dearly... one of them is teaching teens at my church bible study. I miss the teen girl group that I started on Saturdays (VWT= Virtuous Women in Training) I know they miss it too. I'm just not sure where my starting point is. I have to get back to the things I love or I'll be further dragged away. My job IS a means to and end right now and I respect my job as well as the One =God= who gave it to me. But I want more.
Most people, these days, are happy if they even HAVE a job. Me? I think bigger, and I always have. I'm so relentless about these things... that I know that I will have at least SOME of the things I desire. I don't know how, and as far as I'm concerned, that part isn't up to me. I do, however, desire more from God. I'm a perfectly ready and willing instrument for His good purposes. I want more. What God is waiting for? I don't know, maybe there is so much more that I need to know... maybe i'm so young that He hasn't even built a true and sturdy foundation for me yet. Whatever the reason, I wonder is there a way to speed things up a little..lol. I do have a relationship with my Father in Heaven, so none of what I'm saying is a big shocker to Him. However, I know some of you reading this (assuming there is someone) is a little shocked at how I'm speaking about and to God. Well... that may be because you're still operating under an untrue opinion about who God is. Religion will do that to you... God is not interested in your religion... He is however interested in the relationship that you have with Him. He asks that we worship Him in spirit and in Truth... how can you worship God if you're not honest with Him about your feelings? I mean the REAL feelings! That stuff that only God knows because He knows EVERYTHING! It's ok... He knows the things that you don't say, only, He probably wishes you would. It's the part of the relationship He really values... the disclosure to Him. The confession... the plain old, open your mouth and talk to Him thing.
Anyways... sorry, got a bit off subject- or maybe i'm right on target for someone reading this. :-) That always makes me smile, just thinking of the possibility that something I say in passing is going to be just the thing someone else needed to hear to make things ok for them. Well, if that's the truth, let me know. I love praise reports.
again= back to our regularly scheduled program=
I NEED to believe that there is more than this, then working 5 days a week, same hours, same days, same conversations, same folks- same same same SAME... trying to shake it off today... and hope for bigger things= after all... Truth breeds trust, Trust breeds hope & Hope breeds assurance... and when I lack any- I have to start back at Truth... what do i believe?
I believe that this picture of my jewelry gives me hope for something better:
1 comment:
Your jewelry is beautiful I must say. I think you have the right attitude. It's best to turn your focus toward things that give you joy and remind you of what you want to do with your life ultimately. For me it's writing, and I decided I would stop talking about it, and be about it. One small step at a time. To borrow a line from a movie...Never give up, never surrender!
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