Studying the master's literature gives me an opportunity to hold it up as a mirror to my own life. On today i am wondering about one thing. I wonder what my motives for wanting wealth truly are. And as I examine those motives, i wonder.... Are they wrong? The word talks about when Christ had this interaction with a young man who wanted to know what he could do to achieve eternal life:
Mat 19:16-26 Behold, one came to him and said, "Good teacher, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" (17) He said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but one, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments." (18) He said to him, "Which ones?" Jesus said, "'You shall not murder.' 'You shall not commit adultery.' 'You shall not steal.' 'You shall not offer false testimony.' (19) 'Honor your father and mother.' And, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" (20) The young man said to him, "All these things I have observed from my youth. What do I still lack?" (21) Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." (22) But when the young man heard the saying, he went away sad, for he was one who had great possessions. (23) Jesus said to his disciples, "Most assuredly I say to you, a rich man will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven with difficulty. (24) Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God." (25) When the disciples heard it, they were exceedingly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?" (26) Looking at them, Jesus said, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
I know that all things are possible with God and God only. So i wonder about this wealth thing. My husband and I do want to have wealth and to be comfortable in our lives. Now, this is not to say that we are aiming to be the richest people in the world- but we have our minds fixed on two things: ministry and wealth.
We decided that we would work hard as a family to be well off because we realized that walking the same path Jesus walked wasn't our walk. We tried that and was really serious about wanting to walk where and how Jesus walked. God was in agreement with us. His word says in Matthew 2:19-"Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." When God agreed we began to receive according to our faith and according to what we had asked. We couldn't keep a car running for ANYTHING because we had agreed that we wanted to live a missionary's life. We had just enough to get by because God said He would provide all our needs but, we didn't agree on having our "wants" provided too. We were constantly ministering.. so much so that we couldn't hardly rest without people coming INTO our resting places desperate for God IN us. We were constantly in motion.... we moved from one job to the next. Not because we weren't capable of keeping a job... but because there were PEOPLE that God needed for us to minister to at each job so we had to keep going to where these people were. City to city... state to state. You wouldn't believe it. We didn't either until one day God woke me up!
He began to lovingly show me that He was only giving me what I asked for. The very desires of my heart. However, my desires weren't in line with the truth of who He made me to be. The really funny thing is. I was asking for that life... but not really fully present with what i was asking for! lol... I was completely confused with how 2 married people could be WORKING but just barely making it. How 3 cars would fail in 3 years. I wasn't quite clear on why i kept moving from job to job and have the only memorable things at each job be the people that i was able to minister to while I was there. It was like as soon as the message from God through me had been clearly conveyed to them ... i was off to another job! wow...The missionary lifestyle isn't meant for everyone. Just like for somebody else, working on cars all day long is a serious passion, but for me, it would feel like unbearable bondage that i would be screaming for God to take from me! lol...
I am confident that since my husband and I have finally come to the realization that that isn't what we want and changed our hearts ... God will give it to us! He didn't hesitate to give us a walk like Christ's. I'm positive that He will give us the walk of David too! LOL... no... we don't want to be rich like David or Solomon for that matter.... but that brings me to my next point==David's wealth was not a sin!
I can't help but to be afraid to obtain wealth... why? Because I want the love of Christ and Heaven more than I want anything ELSE in this world! So i worry that having money will prevent me from getting there.... i don't want anything more than i want eternal life in Heaven. My husband and I will have children...and they deserve a comfortable living provided for them. They deserve parents that aren't struggling to eat... or struggling to get from place to place. People think that when Christ said that He came that we might have life and life more abundantly that He's only talking about financial gain. He was also talking about the quality of life... quality of things that mean more than money as well and we want those things too.
So...Why Do I want wealth? I want wealth because i have struggled my whole life. I don't want my kids or my husband to struggle in our latter years too! I also have charities and organizations i want to run one day... i can't do that broke and homeless! I want to be able to travel and enjoy my marriage in creative ways. I'm always honest with God about what my desires are because if my desires are wrong He can tell me whether or not they are wrong. I mean, God made it clear of 2 things: The way Christ walke was not wrong (of course) but also that David's life as a wise and rich King wasn't wrong either.
My question to God: Where is the middle? Jesus was a single man when He was here... His only worry WAS the "Church"... I don't think it's a coincidence that God asks that the Husbands love their wives the way that Christ loved the church. The husband should be focused on loving his wife and caring for her. They compared a husband's love for his wife to the way Jesus loves the "church"...i believe it's because God knows that a married man's (and woman's)cares will be for his/her family... which means our FIRST ministry IS our marriage. right?
When i asked God these things, I felt a release in my spirit and in my life... like i was finally on to something.... things began to get easier... really easy... going to work was more of an opportunity and not just a burden... looking into school and business ideas was a pleasure and not a confusing mess... It feels like God is telling me i'm on the right path now... but...
....are these desires selfish and sinful? That's the question i have for all of you who are getting to know God for themselves... are my desires considered a sin? Am I going to be the camel trying to get through the needle when it's all said and done?
We decided that we would work hard as a family to be well off because we realized that walking the same path Jesus walked wasn't our walk. We tried that and was really serious about wanting to walk where and how Jesus walked. God was in agreement with us. His word says in Matthew 2:19-"Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." When God agreed we began to receive according to our faith and according to what we had asked. We couldn't keep a car running for ANYTHING because we had agreed that we wanted to live a missionary's life. We had just enough to get by because God said He would provide all our needs but, we didn't agree on having our "wants" provided too. We were constantly ministering.. so much so that we couldn't hardly rest without people coming INTO our resting places desperate for God IN us. We were constantly in motion.... we moved from one job to the next. Not because we weren't capable of keeping a job... but because there were PEOPLE that God needed for us to minister to at each job so we had to keep going to where these people were. City to city... state to state. You wouldn't believe it. We didn't either until one day God woke me up!
He began to lovingly show me that He was only giving me what I asked for. The very desires of my heart. However, my desires weren't in line with the truth of who He made me to be. The really funny thing is. I was asking for that life... but not really fully present with what i was asking for! lol... I was completely confused with how 2 married people could be WORKING but just barely making it. How 3 cars would fail in 3 years. I wasn't quite clear on why i kept moving from job to job and have the only memorable things at each job be the people that i was able to minister to while I was there. It was like as soon as the message from God through me had been clearly conveyed to them ... i was off to another job! wow...The missionary lifestyle isn't meant for everyone. Just like for somebody else, working on cars all day long is a serious passion, but for me, it would feel like unbearable bondage that i would be screaming for God to take from me! lol...
I am confident that since my husband and I have finally come to the realization that that isn't what we want and changed our hearts ... God will give it to us! He didn't hesitate to give us a walk like Christ's. I'm positive that He will give us the walk of David too! LOL... no... we don't want to be rich like David or Solomon for that matter.... but that brings me to my next point==David's wealth was not a sin!
I can't help but to be afraid to obtain wealth... why? Because I want the love of Christ and Heaven more than I want anything ELSE in this world! So i worry that having money will prevent me from getting there.... i don't want anything more than i want eternal life in Heaven. My husband and I will have children...and they deserve a comfortable living provided for them. They deserve parents that aren't struggling to eat... or struggling to get from place to place. People think that when Christ said that He came that we might have life and life more abundantly that He's only talking about financial gain. He was also talking about the quality of life... quality of things that mean more than money as well and we want those things too.
So...Why Do I want wealth? I want wealth because i have struggled my whole life. I don't want my kids or my husband to struggle in our latter years too! I also have charities and organizations i want to run one day... i can't do that broke and homeless! I want to be able to travel and enjoy my marriage in creative ways. I'm always honest with God about what my desires are because if my desires are wrong He can tell me whether or not they are wrong. I mean, God made it clear of 2 things: The way Christ walke was not wrong (of course) but also that David's life as a wise and rich King wasn't wrong either.
My question to God: Where is the middle? Jesus was a single man when He was here... His only worry WAS the "Church"... I don't think it's a coincidence that God asks that the Husbands love their wives the way that Christ loved the church. The husband should be focused on loving his wife and caring for her. They compared a husband's love for his wife to the way Jesus loves the "church"...i believe it's because God knows that a married man's (and woman's)cares will be for his/her family... which means our FIRST ministry IS our marriage. right?
When i asked God these things, I felt a release in my spirit and in my life... like i was finally on to something.... things began to get easier... really easy... going to work was more of an opportunity and not just a burden... looking into school and business ideas was a pleasure and not a confusing mess... It feels like God is telling me i'm on the right path now... but...
....are these desires selfish and sinful? That's the question i have for all of you who are getting to know God for themselves... are my desires considered a sin? Am I going to be the camel trying to get through the needle when it's all said and done?
♥=Chelle'ville=♥
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